Fulham 2-0 Newcastle

&c

Newcastle finally put this most stressful of seasons behind them at Craven Cottage on Sunday with a suitably abject 2-0 defeat.

On what has been a reasonably happy hunting ground for us in recent years, there's really not much to be said about this game.

We barely turned up at all, playing in a back five after Tonali pulled out of the warm up.

Both Fulham goals came after sloppy defending, and we weren't sighted at all as an attacking force.

During a drinks break in the baking heat, Dan Burn even asked Fulham fans what the score was in the Spurs and West Ham games.

I've seen some fans take issue with that - personally I couldn't care less.

And indeed, what was happening in the other games was infinitely more interesting than this turgid slog.

More than anything, football is a game of schadenfreude - and the most shameful joy came from a few miles down the road, as a team who would be in the relegation zone if the table worked on xPts (I've always loved stats like that, honest) saw all the dominos fall into place for them to creep into the Europa League.

That they finished five points ahead of us, and that we donated them six points, should be lost on absolutely nobody at this club.

On top of that, Arteta won the league and worst of all, we didn't even get a Spurs relegation.

Football can be cruel sometimes.

When we look back on this season, the story won't be of a run to another League Cup semi final, or our deepest ever foray into the Champions League, or Osula sealing another memorable win against Man U with a wonder goal (ok, we might remember that) - it'll be of a team with the fortitude of a kitten throwing away 27 points from winning positions.

It'll be of a team lacking any sort of impetus in attack.

Of goalkeeping errors, defensive lapses, and wingers pelting down the wing and beating the fullback, then cutting back inside and passing it back up the line.

Or of one winger in particular just running the ball out of play like a latter day Obertan.

It'll be the story of a disastrous summer transfer window seeming to seal our fate before we even started.

The story of like-for-like subs that could be predicted with 90% accuracy before kick off.

But most of all, the story of this season - the story of the season in a nutshell - will be one of the two most pathetic derby surrenders we've possibly ever seen in one season.

The disgraceful, unforgivable surrender in the away fixture will mark the nadir of Eddie Howe's tenure, regardless of anything else that happens in his time here.

It simply has to be.

To serve up such a bewilderingly tame performance in a match of that magnitude should never be forgotten.

By all accounts, Howe is leading the rebuild.

As regular readers of my match reports (hi mam) will know, I have been staunchly Howe in all season.

The way it's been allowed to peter out concerns me though, although we did finally see Woltemade in the number 10 role behind Osula, something which annoyingly showed promise and could have been tried much earlier.

If Eddie is leading the rebuild then he's got my full support, but lessons need to have been learned this season at all levels of the club.